After disappearing for a few days, I am finally back. I have been really busy the last couple days entertaining friends, drinking, cleaning, and just sorting out my future plans.

Anyways, I have decided I need to change the attitude of this blog. I realized most of my posts are nothing but me complaining about my job. Don’t get me wrong, I dislike my job a lot. But I am never going to get anywhere by complaining about it constantly.

I may sound like a pissed off person, but I am actually a happy person 99% of the time. I have a positive outlook on life and can usually cheer anyone up when I talk to them.

I am a big reader and love reading books that make you think. I am currently reading “The Art of Happiness” by Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler. It is a great book that teaches you the things you need to practice in life to live a happy life. I already practice a lot of the stuff in the book, but it is always nice to learn more.

The main thing is to always look at the positives in life and never focus on the negatives. For some reason I have let myself get back to focusing on the negatives in my life when I should be focusing on all the positives.

Outside of my job, my life is pretty much exactly what I want it to be. 2008 has been a year unlike any other. My favorite things to do include traveling, going to live music events, and spending time outdoors.

I have gone to a few concerts already this year, including the Barenaked Ladies and P Diddy. I have tickets to a show this Saturday featuring Kenny Chesney, Keith Urban, Gary Allan and a few others.

I have traveled more this year alone than most people do in a few years. I have gone to San Diego twice, Los Angeles twice, Oceanside, Tijuana, Sedona, Flagstaff, and Las Vegas to name a few. Plus I am flying back to Wisconsin for another Country festival in a few weeks.

I have also spent a majority of my time outside hiking, playing volleyball and going golfing. All things I enjoy a lot that I was never able to do year round in Wisconsin.

This year, I even managed to play a round of golf on a reality TV show and acted in an infomercial. Things I never dreamed I would end up doing this year.

My life is going pretty well so far and I need to keep focusing on the positives. The only real downside right now is that my job is not what I am looking for. But until I find a better option, I feel it is in my best interest to just keep working with what I have.

It’s only a matter of time before the right opportunity comes my way.

It has officially been six months since I started this position and I am soon going to be up for review. I was given a personal evaluation to fill out and some of the questions straight up made me laugh.

So my dilemma, is whether or not I should fill it out or not. I am most likely going to be done working here right before my actual review. So I could ignore it and see what happens. Or, I could answer it with fluffed up answers that most employees would put down.

But of course, I am not like most employees. And it does say to answer the questions as truthfully as possible. So here is how I would truthfully answer this evaluation:

1. Please describe what you considered to be your primary professional role in the Company over the previous year.

Where do I start…Over the past 6 months, I have spent a majority of my time being bitched at by employees because their computers stopped working. Of course it wasn’t my fault at all, but who else would they blame?

I spent the rest of my time ignoring emails since I get over 100 everyday and have no time to actually go through them all. If I wasn’t busy doing that, I was day dreaming about being anywhere on Earth except my office that came in a box with instructions for assembly. Just the though of that cubicle makes me cringe.

The only thing that pissed me off more was those motivational posters everywhere that trick you into thinking you need to be 100% committed to your company.

2. Please detail what your three most critical tasks were that contributed to Company success this year.

a) Being the go-to-guy for all problems within the company. Even if they weren’t tech related, people still came to me with their problems. (I recall putting a cabinet together, even though it wasn’t related to my job description at all.)

b) Tried to get fired by slacking as much as I could. I sat on AIM and chatted away with friends and surfed the internet until it became boring.

c) I wrote a blog post daily from my cubicle about how much it sucks to sit in.

3. On a scale of 1-3 (1 = does not meet expectations, 2 = meets expectations, 3 = exceeds expectations), how would you rate your performance on each of those tasks?

a) 3

b) 1 (I failed miserably at trying to get canned )

c) 2 (There were a few days where I didn’t have sufficient time to put together a post)

4. What were your three most significant and measurable accomplishments in the past year?

a) I moved to a few new states.

b) I started Lifeofjustin.com, which is a blog about my life.

c) I made up my mind that working in a cubicle is not the answer.

5. In the coming year, what would you like your main role to become?

I would like to get the hell out of corporate America as soon as possible. I hope to become self-employed, preferably in the web design and writing fields. I also would not mind a job where I can work outside, with kids, or at least make a difference in the world.

6. What do you believe should be your three most critical tasks in the coming year?

a) Find happiness within.

b) Find a career I am passionate about.

c) Take more time to myself to enjoy the simple things in life.

7. What additions or changes could be made to help you provide greater contributions to company success?

Unless you allow me to telecommute from a tropical island everyday, I don’t think there is much that can be done. I am a lost cause for this company, and you have driven me to the point where I hate everything about this job.

8. What three specific goals would you like to focus on for the upcoming year?

a) Finding my dream job

b) Traveling more often

c) Taking more time to do things I enjoy

Comments:

Let’s see, I would like to start by saying I am giving my 2 week notice as of the time you read this. Sorry it had to come this way, but I could not think of a better time to inform you.

On a brighter note, at least you don’t have to worry about how to talk me down to accepting a 3% raise. Not even a 20% raise would make me stay in this position.

The only other thing I have to say is I would recommend hiring 3 people in my place. There are way too many request and floors to support for 1 person. You will eventually lead every new employee to insanity unless you get a team together.

I was thinking today and had a really good question. I am getting ready to give my two week notice but haven’t decided when yet. So I am now stuck in the ackward phase between giving a notice and appearing like I am staying at my job.

No one knows I am leaving except myself and all of you readers. I have been getting some projects thrown at me that will not start for a few months, which I already know I won’t be working on. So am I supposed to just ignore that fact until I give my notice or do I just give in and let it out now.
Who knows…

Anyways, coworkers always ask me things like will you be around this fall to help with computer moves? Or Can you come help me in August with our new equipment?

What exactly are you supposed to say to these people? The only choices I could come up with were:

A. Lie and say: “I would be glad to come help you this fall.”

This works, but it isn’t really being fair to your coworkers. Your straight up lying to the person but covering your own ass. If the goal is to look out for numero uno, then this is the one to do. This is one I have used the most so far.

B. Tell the truth: “No, I am quitting soon.”

This is more fair to the people, but then you risk all sorts of problems. It is never good when your boss finds out from a coworker that your getting ready to quit. Plus there is a chance they fire you before you anticipated. Not that it is a bad thing…hmmm.

C. Defer the question: “Sorry I am very busy but I will stop by later.”

I have tried this, but they always come a knockin’. People cannot handle waiting for an answer so they come looking for you or send you 16 emails reassuring the question. I have not had much luck with this option.

It is really a tough one to answer. There really is no right or wrong way to go about it. I think my solution is just going to be leave early and come in late. The less amount of time I spend at work, the less questions I will be asked by coworkers.

We will see how this works out. Stay tuned tomorrow for an even more interesting question:

What do you put on your 6 month evaluation review when you know your quitting?

Hey everyone, I am back from my little road trip to California/Mexico. It was another interesting time I must say. I will break down the trip for you by location:

Tijuana

Tijuana was an eye opener. We parked our car on the US side of the border and then walked across so we didn’t have to worry about getting our car torn apart on the way back.

The place is a little sketch and gives you a feeling of being unsafe. There are shops everywhere trying to lure you in to by stuff and by the end of our little excursion I was ready to snap.

It is pretty sad to see some of the stuff there. There are donkeys every 10 feet with stripes painted on them to make them look like zebras. They did not look like they were enjoying it very much.

On a good note, I had some of the best Margaritas I have ever had there. The place we ate at offered us happy hour early if we came in so we thought we would give it a shot. The food was also pretty good.

Coming back into the US was not too bad since we took a charter bus that drives you to the border for 5 dollars. From there, we just had to hop in line and show our passport to get back in the the US. It was worth seeing and I can now cross it off the list of places I have been.

San Diego

I love San Diego and would love to move there. The city is awesome but the cost of living is pretty high. I looked at a few apartments in the Pacific Beach area that I could afford so that is still an option.

We ate dinner on Coronado island, which is a very nice place. The view of downtown San Diego is amazing from there. I loved swimming at the beach there and looking at the aircraft carriers in the distance. I also managed to see one of the largest ships I have ever seen come by.

Oceanside

We stayed at a hotel in Oceanside since I am debating about moving here. I love the city because it feels like a small surf city and doesn’t have all the traffic that the big cities have. Plus rent is pretty afforable right by the beach.

I got pretty drunk at some Lobster place on the beach and drank a few too many Coronas and Margaritas. The ocean was much warmer than I remember a few months back. The surf was real nice but I did not have time to find a place to rent a board.

The Way Home

The drive back to Phoenix was pretty interesting. Driving through Calexico on the way back was HOT. It was 108 degrees at 7:30 PM which is fricken’ hot. We got all the way past Yuma before going through Border Patrol.

Then of course, the dog started barking at our car so we had the joy of pulling under one of their little tents. They literally searched through our entire car looking for crap that they did not find. They asked me where I was coming from and going too like 3 times.

Finally, they let us go and we were able to make it back to Phoenix around midnight. And it was still over 100 degrees…

As promised yesterday, I decided to make a post of some of the things I have been doing lately to try and get out of this job. The sad thing is, I have failed miserably at it. It is going to take a lot more effort (or lack of) on my part to actually get canned from this position.

So here they are, the 5 things I have been doing to try and get fired:

1. Going in late and leaving early

On a day-to-day basis, I come in approximately 30 - 40 minutes late and just stroll in like I own the place. When I am hungover, I usually walk in a good hour late and look like I am about to die. So far, not one person has ever said anything to me about it so I might as well keep it up.

Also, on a near daily basis, I leave work early. Once in a great while I will actually sit here until 5 PM, but usually I leave around 4:40. Those 20 minutes make the day feel that much shorter. Besides, it’s not like I ever get anything done in those 20 minutes anyway…

2. Taking two hour lunch breaks

For the last 2 months, I have been consistently going home for lunch and cooking. I believe my lunch hour is supposed to be an hour, but I usually take a good 2 hours before I get back to work. I typically leave around noon and get back at 2 pm.

Sometimes I drink a beer or make a margarita while I am at home and just sit out by the pool and enjoy myself. Other times I fall asleep on the couch and realize I have been home for 2 hours and still need to make the drive back.

The longest lunch break I have ever taken was well over 3 hours long and not one person said anything when I got back to work.

3. Sitting on AIM all day

About 4 months ago, I decided to download AIM on to my PC since I was so incredibly bored. Ever since then, I have sat on it the entire time I am here everyday and chat away with all my friends.

My instant message logs usually start at 8:40 when I get here and go throughout the day until I leave. Even when I am on someone elses computer working on something, I remote into my desktop and keep chatting away.

Sometimes I even hide somewhere in the building and sit on different computer and chat. People usually just assume I am fixing something since I am the IT guru of the place. It sure has made my day a tad more enjoyable.

4. Surfing the internet

I have surfed the internet since the first day on the job. It started out with a few websites here and there while I had some downtime. Now, I pretty much use the internet religiously. I check Facebook at least 10 times a day, Myspace a few, and just about every other website you can think of.

I sit on my blog and write these articles and do my best to promote it. Entrecard and Blog Catalog also take up a good majority of my time here at work. In my prime, I was hitting 300 drops a day on Entrecard since I had nothing better to do.

I also balance all of my bills and make sure I pay them online. I figure I would rather spend my time at work doing it then wasting my precious time at home.

At some point, I might as well start downloading porn off the internet. I’m not even sure if anyone would notice or care. If they do monitor my internet usage, it is amazing that I have gotten this far.

5. Scheduling fake meetings in my Outlook calendar

This is the mother of them all. About 2 months ago, I looked at my calendar and realized it was too open. So I have been scheduling fake meetings ever since. I usually name them things like “PC Upgrade”, “New Equipment Setup”, or whatever else I feel like putting in.

That way, when people try to schedule something with me they see that my calendar is busy. Talk about a great way to get out of stupid meetings I could care less about.

What is even better is when people come up to my desk with a technical question. Do you have time to take a look now? Nope, it looks like I have a meeting in 5 minutes so it will have to wait til tomorrow.

~ Bonus ~ 6. Bathroom Stalls

I figured I’d throw in a bonus thing I have done a lot of. Ever since February, I have spent a lot of time just sitting in bathroom stalls amongst the building.

Sometimes I will read a book, other times I will nap. If I don’t feel like doing either of those, I usually text message or write things down in my notepad. The key is to mix it up with different floors so that way no one notices that the same shoes are in the bathroom like 10 times a day.

They might start to wonder…

So there you have it, a few things I have been doing A LOT of lately. I figured it was only a matter of time before I got canned, but nope. It has been over 4 months of this and I have gotten nothing more than positive remarks on my job performance.

It is starting to feel a lot like Office Space, I’ll probably end up getting a promotion soon….

PS. If you have any tips or suggestions on what I should try next, feel free to comment.