7 Things I Learned About Mustaches
Tags: Mustache
It’s official, I had the awesomest mustache of all last night! And we managed to raise $875 for schools here in phoenix. Not bad. Now it’s time to reflect and get rid of this fricken thing.
So here is what I learned from having a mustache:
1. Chicks Don’t Dig Them
This had be the first thing on the list. From the time I started growing my mustache, I could tell my girlfriends attraction to me was plummeting. Even girls in the store looked at my weird, probably because I looked like their dad or some random pedophile…
2. They Look/Feel Creepy
The thing that annoyed me the most, was feeling creep everywhere I went. Just walking around Wal-Mart looking at the toys section made me feel weird. Probably because old guys with mustaches don’t belong near children…
Even going out to the bar was less fun. I could tell people were looking at me and judging me on the fact that my mustache kicked ass. They no longer judged me as a person.
3. People Look At Them
I now know what it’s like for women when guys stair at their chests. A few times, I caught a waitress looking at my mustache instead of my eyes. This wasn’t the only time it happened. It was a common occurrence that made me feel weird inside.
4 They Add 10 Years…Easily
As soon as I started growing the mustache, I no longer got carded for alcohol. And this was at normal bars and stores that used to card me all the time. I blame this on the fact that I looked 30+ with the mustache even though I just turned 23.
Mustaches are a great way to get booze if your underage…
5. There Itchy
The most annoying thing of all was the fact that my mustache was itchy. I constantly itched it in hopes that the feeling would go away but it didn’t. It sucks when you have this tingling sensation on your lip for 4 weeks. It’s enough to drive a man insane.
6. They’re Fun To Play With…
This was actually one of the things I didn’t mind with the mustache. I constantly ran my fingers through it and it gave me something to do when I was bored. Then again, my girlfriend was creeped out by it every time I did it.
7. Did I Mention They’re Creepy?
Yeah, it made me feel creep inside.
Time For Some Pictures.
So here is a few pictures to show off the difference:
With:
Without:
Thanks again to everyone that donated, it really helped! Have a great weekend.
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Thanks for growing one and sharing the experience. Now I never have to go through that experience myself
Oh man, this had me on the floor! Yeah, I’m not a chick who dig mustaches either. I’m not big on facial hair in general, but mustaches get to me the most. It’s hard to kiss a guy with one and there’s usually a leftover snot trail during cold/allergy season. Also, mustaches on guys (especially Caucasian men) reminds me too much of Ned Flanders.
Lesson Learned man.
Yeah it was definitely a learning experience. Now you guys don’t have to waste your time growing mustaches…
If you see a man for the first time with a mustache then it looks good and you get used to it. For example I think Tom Selleck looks better with the Magnum PI stache.
If you see a man for the first time clean-shaven, he can NEVER EVER look good in a mustache.
ahhh c’mon dude you should have kept it!
i’ve got a full beard right now, but i think i’m going to go with just the mustache tomorrow.
Well I dig the pedophile part. My uncle shaved its beard and only left a mustache. I barely recognized him when I first saw the guy. He looks like someone who served time
It’s true that mustaches add you 10 years, facial hair is commonly related to mature/old men. Mustache and beard itches for the first 1 or 2 weeks, I’m growing my ’stache and chin beard and the first week was very annoying =/ But if you’ve had it for almost a month, you propably had some kind of fungus growing on you facial hair. (Protip: Use an antifungal shampoo)
People are constalntly looking at me, but I like the way I look, they treat me respectfully and always address me as “Sir” or “Mister” I’m happy with it, so I could care less.