My 6 Month Personal Evaluation

It has officially been six months since I started this position and I am soon going to be up for review. I was given a personal evaluation to fill out and some of the questions straight up made me laugh.

So my dilemma, is whether or not I should fill it out or not. I am most likely going to be done working here right before my actual review. So I could ignore it and see what happens. Or, I could answer it with fluffed up answers that most employees would put down.

But of course, I am not like most employees. And it does say to answer the questions as truthfully as possible. So here is how I would truthfully answer this evaluation:

1. Please describe what you considered to be your primary professional role in the Company over the previous year.

Where do I start…Over the past 6 months, I have spent a majority of my time being bitched at by employees because their computers stopped working. Of course it wasn’t my fault at all, but who else would they blame?

I spent the rest of my time ignoring emails since I get over 100 everyday and have no time to actually go through them all. If I wasn’t busy doing that, I was day dreaming about being anywhere on Earth except my office that came in a box with instructions for assembly. Just the though of that cubicle makes me cringe.

The only thing that pissed me off more was those motivational posters everywhere that trick you into thinking you need to be 100% committed to your company.

2. Please detail what your three most critical tasks were that contributed to Company success this year.

a) Being the go-to-guy for all problems within the company. Even if they weren’t tech related, people still came to me with their problems. (I recall putting a cabinet together, even though it wasn’t related to my job description at all.)

b) Tried to get fired by slacking as much as I could. I sat on AIM and chatted away with friends and surfed the internet until it became boring.

c) I wrote a blog post daily from my cubicle about how much it sucks to sit in.

3. On a scale of 1-3 (1 = does not meet expectations, 2 = meets expectations, 3 = exceeds expectations), how would you rate your performance on each of those tasks?

a) 3

b) 1 (I failed miserably at trying to get canned )

c) 2 (There were a few days where I didn’t have sufficient time to put together a post)

4. What were your three most significant and measurable accomplishments in the past year?

a) I moved to a few new states.

b) I started Lifeofjustin.com, which is a blog about my life.

c) I made up my mind that working in a cubicle is not the answer.

5. In the coming year, what would you like your main role to become?

I would like to get the hell out of corporate America as soon as possible. I hope to become self-employed, preferably in the web design and writing fields. I also would not mind a job where I can work outside, with kids, or at least make a difference in the world.

6. What do you believe should be your three most critical tasks in the coming year?

a) Find happiness within.

b) Find a career I am passionate about.

c) Take more time to myself to enjoy the simple things in life.

7. What additions or changes could be made to help you provide greater contributions to company success?

Unless you allow me to telecommute from a tropical island everyday, I don’t think there is much that can be done. I am a lost cause for this company, and you have driven me to the point where I hate everything about this job.

8. What three specific goals would you like to focus on for the upcoming year?

a) Finding my dream job

b) Traveling more often

c) Taking more time to do things I enjoy

Comments:

Let’s see, I would like to start by saying I am giving my 2 week notice as of the time you read this. Sorry it had to come this way, but I could not think of a better time to inform you.

On a brighter note, at least you don’t have to worry about how to talk me down to accepting a 3% raise. Not even a 20% raise would make me stay in this position.

The only other thing I have to say is I would recommend hiring 3 people in my place. There are way too many request and floors to support for 1 person. You will eventually lead every new employee to insanity unless you get a team together.

Posted on: May 22nd, 2008

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