The Bathroom Stall Hammock

Once Again, I woke up this morning angry at the World. Why? Because I absolutely despise getting up early to the sound of my alarm clock. I am an insomniac that usually calls it a night around 2 AM so getting up 5 hours later just does not work for me. So please, just let me sleep…

So anyways, I managed to crawl into my car and drive to work in a half daze like I have done so many times before. Everyday I sit at my computer from 8 until 11:30 and just fight to keep my eyes open. I think I have actually fallen asleep before sitting at my desk but no one has noticed.

Recently however, I caught myself thinking, I wonder if anyone sleeps at work? I mean, what better time to nap than corporate time. The only question is where? I have always slept in my car at lunch breaks, but I knew this would not work for a nap because it takes to long to walk to my car. So where else could I possibly hide?

Then it hit me, the bathroom stall! I mean, it’s the one place I can go to escape my desk and not be seen. So I thought, what the heck! Let’s give it a shot. So this is my experience:

It is 10:00 am and I have decided it is nap time. So I lock up my computer and head towards the bathroom. But not any bathroom, it has to be one on a different floor so I can keep my identity to a minimum. I walk on in and to my advantage, there is no one to be seen. SO which stall? Hmm I think I will go with the one closest to the end wall.

I hop in the stall and put down the lid on the toilet seat. Then I put my sweatshirt down for padding and take a seat. Ahh, this isn’t so bad. I kind of wish I could lay down but now I will settle for leaning again the stall wall.

It has been 20 minutes and I start to doze off, when all of a sudden…the lights go off! Must be those darn motion detectors. Oh well, I thought, it will be even easier to fall asleep now. But then someone walks in and the lights flip back on.

Then I am stuck sitting there thinking I wonder what is going through this guys head? He knows I have been in there for at least 20 minutes. I start sweating and hope I do not blow my cover. Finally, after what feels like the longest 3 minutes of my life, the guy leaves and once again I am back to dozing off.

And then it happened; I actually fell asleep. I only slept for 15 minutes since I had set my timer on my phone to vibrate after 15 minutes. But for those 15 minutes, I felt like I had beaten the system. Those few minutes of sleep at work were everything I thought they would be and then some. Take that corporate America!

My only concern is that this will become a daily ritual and it will wreck havoc on my neck from leaning in an ackward position. It is this reason only, that I came up with a brilliant invention yesterday that may or may not already exist.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you, the Bathroom Stall Hammock.

But this is not any hammock, it is one custom designed exactly for people like myself. Those 9-5ers that could careless about their job and more about sleep. It will have one loop that can hook up to the hook on the back of the bathroom stall door, and another contraption that will connect to the back of the toilet.

I will then be able to climb in it and sleep suspended in a cloud of air. And the best part of all, it will come with an “Out of Service” sticker so you can stick it on the front of the stall. Since no one will be able to see your feet, you’re golden! No longer will worrying about what other people think keep you from getting in that much needed nap.

And best of all, it will be very compact and will be able to fit in your briefcase. That way know one will give you that awkward look as your carrying a hammock to the bathroom with no beach in sight. I did not have Photoshop at work so I had to throw this rough draft together with Microsoft Word. But it should give you a mental image of what this would actually look like:

Well that concludes my journey to taking a nap at work. I would really like to hear some comments from other people and please share your stories if you have ever experiences something like this.

Posted on: March 4th, 2008

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