5 Things I Have Tried To Get Fired

As promised yesterday, I decided to make a post of some of the things I have been doing lately to try and get out of this job. The sad thing is, I have failed miserably at it. It is going to take a lot more effort (or lack of) on my part to actually get canned from this position.

So here they are, the 5 things I have been doing to try and get fired:

1. Going in late and leaving early

On a day-to-day basis, I come in approximately 30 - 40 minutes late and just stroll in like I own the place. When I am hungover, I usually walk in a good hour late and look like I am about to die. So far, not one person has ever said anything to me about it so I might as well keep it up.

Also, on a near daily basis, I leave work early. Once in a great while I will actually sit here until 5 PM, but usually I leave around 4:40. Those 20 minutes make the day feel that much shorter. Besides, it’s not like I ever get anything done in those 20 minutes anyway…

2. Taking two hour lunch breaks

For the last 2 months, I have been consistently going home for lunch and cooking. I believe my lunch hour is supposed to be an hour, but I usually take a good 2 hours before I get back to work. I typically leave around noon and get back at 2 pm.

Sometimes I drink a beer or make a margarita while I am at home and just sit out by the pool and enjoy myself. Other times I fall asleep on the couch and realize I have been home for 2 hours and still need to make the drive back.

The longest lunch break I have ever taken was well over 3 hours long and not one person said anything when I got back to work.

3. Sitting on AIM all day

About 4 months ago, I decided to download AIM on to my PC since I was so incredibly bored. Ever since then, I have sat on it the entire time I am here everyday and chat away with all my friends.

My instant message logs usually start at 8:40 when I get here and go throughout the day until I leave. Even when I am on someone elses computer working on something, I remote into my desktop and keep chatting away.

Sometimes I even hide somewhere in the building and sit on different computer and chat. People usually just assume I am fixing something since I am the IT guru of the place. It sure has made my day a tad more enjoyable.

4. Surfing the internet

I have surfed the internet since the first day on the job. It started out with a few websites here and there while I had some downtime. Now, I pretty much use the internet religiously. I check Facebook at least 10 times a day, Myspace a few, and just about every other website you can think of.

I sit on my blog and write these articles and do my best to promote it. Entrecard and Blog Catalog also take up a good majority of my time here at work. In my prime, I was hitting 300 drops a day on Entrecard since I had nothing better to do.

I also balance all of my bills and make sure I pay them online. I figure I would rather spend my time at work doing it then wasting my precious time at home.

At some point, I might as well start downloading porn off the internet. I’m not even sure if anyone would notice or care. If they do monitor my internet usage, it is amazing that I have gotten this far.

5. Scheduling fake meetings in my Outlook calendar

This is the mother of them all. About 2 months ago, I looked at my calendar and realized it was too open. So I have been scheduling fake meetings ever since. I usually name them things like “PC Upgrade”, “New Equipment Setup”, or whatever else I feel like putting in.

That way, when people try to schedule something with me they see that my calendar is busy. Talk about a great way to get out of stupid meetings I could care less about.

What is even better is when people come up to my desk with a technical question. Do you have time to take a look now? Nope, it looks like I have a meeting in 5 minutes so it will have to wait til tomorrow.

~ Bonus ~ 6. Bathroom Stalls

I figured I’d throw in a bonus thing I have done a lot of. Ever since February, I have spent a lot of time just sitting in bathroom stalls amongst the building.

Sometimes I will read a book, other times I will nap. If I don’t feel like doing either of those, I usually text message or write things down in my notepad. The key is to mix it up with different floors so that way no one notices that the same shoes are in the bathroom like 10 times a day.

They might start to wonder…

So there you have it, a few things I have been doing A LOT of lately. I figured it was only a matter of time before I got canned, but nope. It has been over 4 months of this and I have gotten nothing more than positive remarks on my job performance.

It is starting to feel a lot like Office Space, I’ll probably end up getting a promotion soon….

PS. If you have any tips or suggestions on what I should try next, feel free to comment.

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Drinking During My Lunch Break

If you haven’t noticed, my most popular post ever was 5 Reasons You Should (And Shouldn’t) Go Out on Weekdays. I am still ranked number 1 in Google for the search term, “Drinking on Weekdays.” Anyways, I thought I would share a 30 sec video clip today, which is my first ever video post. So check it out:

You would be surprised how many people actually Google this term. I am not sure if they are looking for help, or just a good reason to go out and party on a Weekday.

But the only thing better than drinking on a weeknight, is drinking on a weekday during your lunch break. It is a great way to kill an hour. More importantly, it’s a great way to have a good afternoon when you return to the job.

I do this quite a bit, mostly because I need to mind my numb for the afternoon since I usually just stare at my screen the entire time and think of other things I could be doing.

So there you have it, a sneak peek at my video posts and what’s to come. I will be incorporating them much more once I get my camera setup and looking better.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, 5 Things I’ve Tried To Get Fired, But Failed!

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Life After the IT Department

While surfing around on Digg today, I came across an article titled “Life After the IT Department.” It was an article by Deb Perelman on eweek.com.

It talks about how a lot of Americans are getting tired of working in the field of Information Technology and what they would do if they decide to switch career paths.

I have gotten tired of working in the IT Department myself lately and have been looking for some new options. I have been working in the data security and technical support field for 3 years and have just lost all passion for the type of work. It is very repetitive and I rarely see new things.

Most technical support tickets I get I can resolve without even using my mind. Sometimes it’s an Outlook issue, sometimes it’s a file saving problem, or perhaps a hardware failure. But at the end of the day, it is all the same crap.

My favorite part of the article is the very end, where it states “A lot of it is at the end of the day, you will figure out what those things are when you look in the mirror and do a practical honest assessment of yourself and figure out what you didn’t like. Sometimes it was the people and sometimes it was you.”

I already started answering thus question with my post titled “5 Reasons I Hate Technical Support Jobs.” But I also tried to get a little more in depth. I think my main reason for not liking the field is the lack of adventure or new experiences. Not to mention I hate the 8-5 work shift because I am not a morning person whatsoever.

I consider myself to be a creative type of person and there is not much room for creativity in the technical support field. Which is why I have always enjoyed photography, web design, and writing. The main reason I started this blog was because I was so bored at work and needed a way to express myself and my creativity.So the question I need to answer is what type of job would I best fit in?

Of course, I still think the answer is working for myself. Whether it is through the internet or freelancing. I have a lot of knowledge, especially when it comes to technology. I still have the goal of making enough money off the internet to live my day to day life but it may take some more time.

So I have been looking at different blogging and writing positions and feel I could be qualified for some of them. I would love a job working on blogs, since I really enjoy spending time on mine. I also enjoy internet marketing, specifically dealing with social networks like Digg, StumbleUpon, and BlogCatolog to name a few.

At the same time, I have been looking at totally different careers such as outside jobs. Working on a beach somewhere for minimum wage and just getting by. I already concluded money isn’t necessarily something I need a lot of to be happy. I guess we will see.

I would really appreciate some feedback if anyone has ever worked in the IT field and decided to try new things. Or perhaps you know of a job I would fit into, please let me know.

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